Darth was today years old when she discovered that Johnny Depp and Christopher Walken star in more than one movie together. In one of those movies, Nick of Time, Mr. Smith (Walken) threatens to murder Gene Watson’s (Johnny Depp) little girl unless Watson pulls the trigger on Governor Eleanor Grant during a public speech in a downtown L.A. hotel. And …
In this schlocky 90s comedy, Lt. Cmdr. Tom Dodge and his tattooed dick are facing a stacked deck. Due to his decorative penis and quirky methods of command, Dodge has been passed over for promotion by the Navy Selection Committee year after year. But when Rip Torn decides to pull rank out of pure nepotism for his own errant son …
When you’re an undercover operative in a tough spot, who do you reach out to for help? James Bond? Ethan Hunt? Elon Musk? How about Whoopi Goldberg to the rescue?
What would you do for a Klondike bar? Would you bark like a dog? What would you do to maintain the secret of Nirvana? Would you murder a shark-bitten Swede? Leo DiCaprio sure would! In Danny Boyle’s 2000 film The Beach, some intrepid travelers seek a hidden island paradise for non-parasites in Thailand, a country where marijuana was recently legalized! …
There’s this call girl. She’s got a bad rap, see? She’s stuck with a murderous john who owns all the hookers in Atlanta; he puts her up in a nice penthouse with fabulous clothes and all the dance classes she could ask for. It’s up to a ruggedly handsome vice cop to rescue her and give her the run-down home …
Oh, my GOD, Mr. Cotter, I want YOU! What if Cheech and Chong joined the army? We’ll never know for sure, but Stripes gives us a close enough idea when Bill Murray talks Harold Ramis into becoming a grunt in this 80s comedy. John and Russell join the army, mud-wrestling shenanigans ensue, and our would-be heroes get the girls, but …
Not all of us can travel abroad during our college years. Some of us can’t afford college or travel and are subsequently forced to fantasize about that magnificent day when a random, white-collar gentleman will offer us $1000 to travel to Italy to locate and return his wayward, womanizing son. Matt Damon lucks out in the extreme in this story; …
Danger is around every corner when you’re an “anonymous” journalist with a drug beat and alimony to pay. Luckily, Fletch, known as Jane Doe to his readers (we assume he has some, but no one ever confirms this fact) is mediocre at disguise and masterful at confusing his targets with jibber jabber. Fletch finds himself in the crosshairs when he’s …
Holy hairpiece, Jason Alexander! Oh yes, it’s George AND Kramer from Seinfeld, along with Dan Aykroyd and just about everyone else who made an appearance on SNL in the late 80s and early 90s. When a failed recon mission strands him and his wife on Earth, what is an extraterrestrial to do other than make a half-assed attempt to blend …
Who doesn’t want to have sex in technicolor? The people of Pleasantville, that’s who! That is, at least, until Reese Witherspoon comes along!
Ah, the 1970s. You’ve given us so many movies to suffer through. What more could you offer? Turns out, the 1970s can offer us a bland movie about Rock Hudson using mad science to save a dog’s life. Which is fine. Only he then decides to use the same science to create a total babe who wants to “learn” about …
“Satan’s Cheerleaders” should be about blood, murder, and so on. Instead it’s a very bouncy story about cheerleaders chased by a fat guy.
Bob Clark has given the world so much. He gave us “A Christmas Story” and defined the holiday movie. He gave us “Porky’s” and defined the teenage sex comedy. He gave us “Baby Geniuses” and gave us diarrhea. In “Black Christmas” he not only gave us the slasher film, but he also defined many of the tropes that would be …
It’s December! For some reason, that means we all have to watch Christmas movies. This appears to be a law, and the gang aren’t taking any chances. Join them as they take their first obligatory trip down mandated festive joy. “Fatman” is a movie that just doesn’t know what it wants to be. Comedy? Action? Tarantino-esque killfest? No clue. All …
Ah, the public domain. Movies that live in the lawless land without copyright are perfect movies for riffing. In that spirit(!), the gang sit down and watch the 1962 Herk Harvey psychological horror film, “Carnival of Souls.”
It was Darth’s turn to pick a movie this week, and she actually didn’t use that power to inflict misery on Adam and Jason. Instead, the gang got to watch something of a hidden gem. It’s the 2000 drama/comedy about a slice of waspy life, “Wonder Boys.”
