Hercules: The gods must be dirty!
If you can dodge a lightning bolt, you can dodge a ball!
On this very special episode, Jason and @Darth_Jader_ (who loves writing about herself in the third person) actually manage to score their very first guest on this ridonculous podcast. @MagegMeg (we made her reachable…) joins us on this episode to flaunt her super-nerd strength in Greek mythology.
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Speaking of which, Greek mythology gets a G-rated makeover in this movie that is punder arrest for its word play and obscene amount of dad jokes. That’s not to say that the humor in Hercules is anything but brilliant. Honestly, a good Oedipus joke is so hard to find these days.
Disney’s Hercules teaches us great lessons about endurance
and character. Most importantly, this film teaches us that if you’re weakened
to a mortal level by extract of llama, you can always bounce back with an
energetic workout montage and a trip to The Big Olive.
We also learn that Hades is one SASSY bitch! Yet, he’s only
successful in besetting upon Mt. Olympus once he borrows some god-LIKE powers
from the partial-mortal, Hercules. #DisneyLogic
WE INTERRUPT THIS TERRIBLE EPISODE DESCRIPTION TO PROVIDE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE!
For the Ladies:
Don’t trade your soul to save a man. They’re not worth it unless you’re using
them for hair-slapping target practice. In the same train of thought, don’t
idolize Disney Princes; they’re just air-brushed Cronenbergs.
For the Fellas:
Don’t get fooled by a Pegasus taking off her “saddle”. She’s trying to distract
you from the big picture. Also, we’re damsels, we’re in distress, get lost.
Ultimately, Disney’s Hercules teaches us that selflessness
equates to a lack of godliness. So calibrate, listeners. Calibrate.