The Big Hit (1998)

The Big Hit (1998)

The Big Hit: “Let’s go, baby! Let’s work!”

Did you ever consider the hitman’s feelings when he kidnaps you? You will when you watch this trashtastic piece of cinema starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Marky Mark, and Mark Wahlberg!

For real, #Hindsighters, what innocent catholic schoolgirl doesn’t dream about falling victim to kidnaping and inevitable Stockholm Syndrome when they’re taken hostage by someone as hot as Marky Mark?

#Hindsighters, forget about Christina Applegate (we’re kidding; even Darth knows that’s not possible) and focus on the jailbait that is China Chow in this hot cinematic nonsense.

What’s the one lesson your intrepid podcasters have learned from this movie, you ask? Sensual, non-consensual cooking inevitably leads to kosher takeout.

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.