“Ted, we don’t have time for a tourniquet!” – Darth Jader
In case it isn’t obvious, the huge selling point of Shark Night is that Ted from Schitt’s Creek is in it.
Beloved #Hindsighters, your fearless gang is back from their spine-tingling adventure with sharks at the Georgia Aquarium.
In honor of Darth, Jason, and Adam’s first underwater adventure together (thanks to SeaVentures), your beloved podcasters decided to watch a movie about attractive people being eaten by the sharks who clearly trained for the Sharkour Olympics.
Shark Night is essentially the same story of humans entering a habitat to which they do not belong, albeit with somewhat more death and nearly 12% more creepy Louisiana yokel with bad teeth. Shark Night is the quintessential 2011 sexy, bikini clad teen/coming of age/friendship/horror/comedy/ romance movie where Ted is the hero…?
Don’t worry about it. The most important aspect of this film is that Shark Night was directed by the same guy who made Snakes on a Plane. That to be Ted, we are sick and mother-effing tired of these mother-effing sharks in this mother-effing saltwater lake (because there are so many of those in Louisiana)! Where is Samuel L. Jackson when you need him? Or Louis Gossett, Jr.?
On a serious note, Darth, Jason, and Adam’s love go out to Alice, our dearly departed whale shark friend from the Georgia Aquarium. Darth remembers the first day she saw Alice in 2006; that’s a precious memory that will never be forgotten. Rest in Peace, dear girl.
And people, if you would please stop eating all our favorite fish, we’d super appreciate it.
Despite the utter lack of realism in this classic shark film (honestly, the ability to selfishly amputate your arm via shark while losing a minimal amount of blood is a damned superpower), your podcasters have to point out that Cookie Cutter Sharks are real. You would think that Adam would know this, given the fact that he lived 6 Knots to Nowhere IN THE OCEAN.
Darth and Jason attempt to forgive Adam’s embarrassingly gaping ignorance during this episode since Cookie Cutter Sharks cannot bite through the hull of a submarine … SUPPOSEDLY. Hollywood, we’re sure you can prove us wrong if you dare to make yet another sequel to the Shark Night movie franchise.
The takeaway from Shark Night and subsequent discussion is:
- We need more Sigourney Weaver appearances in films as opposed to Indiana Jones 75 ½ .
- Diving with sharks is only for the sharkourest of individuals.
- Hindsight is only horrifying when you don’t get eaten during the experience.
*Your most valiant podcasters recently flirted with death and Mr. Brown’s stuffed shark flirts with Darth in this episode (phrasing).*
Beloved #Hindsighters, your fearless gang is back from their spine-tingling adventure with sharks at the Georgia Aquarium.
In honor of Darth, Jason, and Adam’s first underwater adventure together (thanks to SeaVentures), your beloved podcasters decided to watch a movie about attractive people being eaten by the sharks who clearly trained for the Sharkour Olympics.
Shark Night is essentially the same story of humans entering a habitat to which they do not belong, albeit with somewhat more death and nearly 12% more creepy Louisiana yokel with bad teeth. Shark Night is the quintessential 2011 sexy, bikini clad teen / coming of age / friendship / horror / comedy / romance movie where Ted is the hero…?
Don’t worry about it. The most important aspect of this film is that Shark Night was directed by the same guy who made Snakes on a Plane. That to be Ted, we are sick and mother-effing tired of these mother-effing sharks in this mother-effing saltwater lake (because there are so many of those in Louisiana)! Where is Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?
On a serious note, Darth, Jason, and Adam’s love go out to Alice, our dearly departed whale shark friend from the Georgia Aquarium. Darth remembers the first day she saw Alice in 2006; that’s a precious memory that will never be forgotten. Rest in Peace, dear girl.
And people, if you would please stop eating all our favorite fish, we’d super appreciate it.
Despite the utter lack of realism in this classic shark film (honestly, the ability to selfishly amputate your arm via shark while losing a minimal amount of blood is a damned superpower), your podcasters have to point out that Cookie Cutter Sharks are real. You would think that Adam would know this, given the fact that he lived 6 Knots to Nowhere IN THE OCEAN.
Darth and Jason attempt to forgive Adam’s embarrassingly gaping ignorance during this episode since Cookie Cutter Sharks cannot bite through the hull of a submarine … SUPPOSEDLY. Hollywood, we’re sure you can prove us wrong if you dare to make yet another sequel to the Shark Night movie franchise.
The takeaway from this trashtastic shark movie and subsequent discussion is:
- We need more Sigourney Weaver appearances in films as opposed to Indiana Jones 75 ½ .
- Diving with sharks is only for the sharkourest of individuals.
- Hindsight is only horrifying when you don’t get eaten during the experience.
