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The Lost Boys – Podcast 0124

The Lost Boys – Michael Michael Michael!

On our continued 80s kick, we discuss The Lost Boys, where the rules are made up and the lore doesn’t matter! On this episode, we welcome the hardest-working woman in show business, Alicen Cowan, who joins us to discuss the beginning of the reign of the two Coreys.

While we most certainly shed a few tears in mourning for the Head Vampire of character actors, Edward Herrmann, this movie makes for a fun stroll through the 80s, where the print was loud and the music was louder.

Canadian Kiefer Sutherland makes his first appearance in an American film as the Billy Idol of vampires, and we find that vampirism and douchebaggery are NOT mutually exclusive, especially when you rock pierced ears and sunglasses at night. Even having Alex Winter in your crew can’t save you from that look.  

Listeners, it doesn’t matter if you’re caught in the throes of a vampire transformation. There is ALWAYS time for blue jean sex, but not if you’re wearing your shoes in bed.

Here are some pro tips when dealing with paranormal beings:

  1. When you’re dining at a friend’s house, never balk at the cuisine. Even maggots and worms can taste great when you add a little salt and pepper.
  2. Melting a vampire in your bathtub is always a messy business and will wreak havoc on the indoor plumbing.  

Darth and Jason conclude that The Lost Boys eschews vampire tradition by having absolutely no solid rules about supernatural creatures, so that’s fun. In fact, the only traditional aspect of this vampire movie is its strong homoerotic vibes.  To that end, shake things up and remember to vote Jason Mitchell for Head Vampire 2020. He may not be the perfect amalgam of action heroes like Edgar Frog, but he will put your tax dollars to work by reinstating tradition in vampire movies . Lastly, The Lost Boys teaches us that it’s okay to drive impaired so long as the only thing you kill is a vampire. Grandpa doesn’t get stoned; he just has fun.

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.