Clueless Podcast Header

Clueless – Podcast 0116

Clueless: As IF!

This week, Jason and Katie enjoy their Dark Alchemy and Moon Cloud from Variant Brewing while Darth is denied her Raspberry Lemon Gose; she makes due with the delicious Conditional Love. Whoever bought the last of her favorite crowler, you know who you are and you’re dead to us.

We are totally buggin’ in this episode where you can practically hear Jason’s manhood dying a slow, painful death as Darth and Katie discuss dresses and how dreamy Paul Rudd is. We ask you, who DOESN’T want an ex-step brother to fall in love with?

As inconceivable as it seems to have Wallace Shawn in a 90s teen flick, he makes an appearance to teach the youth of America about debate and Haitians. Fortunately, he avoids getting into a land war in Asia along the way.

There are quite a few takeaways in this week’s episode:

  1. Despite his ability to shave his head and keep it real, Turk just doesn’t look right without J.D.
  2. The 688 club was basically Atlanta’s Studio 54 back in the day, but Dicky Barrett couldn’t stage dive well enough to play there.
  3. Jason is a “professional” man who represents the entire male species. You can tweet your displeasure about this to @northfoggy.

We also get some really great dating lessons from Clueless.

To have the perfect date night, bake some cookie dough for your cake boy and binge some Tony Curtis. Just make sure you don’t fall off the bed when you strike a pose. Also, if you want to sound smart in front of a man, make sure to mention the existential nature of Ren & Stimpy. But if a guy doesn’t return your affections, ladies, just blow off school and catch the new Christian Slater!

The ultimate dating questions are whether you are a Betty or a Monet? A Baldwin or a Barney? You’ll never land a sibling significant other until you find out.

As always, listeners, we appreciate you tolerating our weekly bout of nonsense.

We’re Audi.

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.