Beetlejuice: Welcome to the afterlife of arbitrary rules and DMV lines.
BREAKING NEWS: JASON HATES PETER JACKSON AND ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. He also doesn’t know the difference between Australia and New Zealand or Julia Roberts and Geena Davis (who was in Thelma and Louise, The Fly, and Earth Girls are Easy, just to name 3). You can make fun of him on Twitter at @northfoggy. Get him, Internet!
It turns out, there’s no crying in baseball or in death, because the Maitlands take their horrific end in total stride. That being said, we co-hosts learned some very important lessons from this super child-unfriendly movie. A couple of those lessons are as follows:
- If you’re provided a detailed guide book about the ins and outs of life after death, read it.
- NEVER go into business with an independent contractor who kisses your dead wife.
- Don’t treat the ghosts who haunt your house like your trained Schnauzer dog.
- If you want your kids to be straight edge and get good grades, raise them right with ghosts and Calypso music.
- Tony Cox was the preacher at Beetlejuice’s wedding (mind=BLOWN).
What can we say? Beetlejuice contained a surprising amount of life lessons. A lesson you listeners should learn from us is, if you’re watching the movies along with us, we don’t break for our own tangents. Get on our level.
Furthermore, Jason and I may not agree on who played the best Batman, but we know for a fact that Bird Person is better than Birdman.
At this point, we realize that you’re probably getting sick of us, but stay tuned anyway, because Jason and I will be selling tickets to the Michio Kaku vs. Neil Degrasse Tyson throw down. We are currently taking bets at DarthJader@HindsightisHorrifying.com (If that is the correct email. At this point we might just be screwing with you).
If you want to hear an episode about the great Rover Dangerfield, just tweet us incessantly or drop us a line. Darth will make it so. Lastly, Johnny, if you’re listening, @Darth_Jader‘s knowledge of and love for you is vast; she’ll defend you to the Depp. And she’ll see herself out.