Podcast 0108 – The Mummy (1999)

The Mummy: Don’t touch the pharaoh’s woman!

This week, we discover that Jason is an Imhotep fangirl, even though the ancient Egyptian turns out to be more chupacabra than mummy in his afterlife.

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This film might be cheesy, but it is cherished, and is the pick of our super special guest, @kmisencik, who knows way more about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes than anyone should.

She also knows a fair bit about The Mummy. For instance, Brendan Fraser actually died for a brief moment while filming this movie; we’re lucky that he made it out of this project alive and not as a mummy.

As always, we learned a few things on our podcast:

  1. The Sop, Drop & Roll by Variant Brewing is the best beer to pair with a Brendan Fraser movie.
  2. Mummies and dinosaurs make great fuel.
  3. The Japanese Thriller cut of The Mummy is so much better than the theater version. You can buy it on Amazon.

Another important life lesson is that Scarabs are NOT cocaine-fueled flesh monsters. Regardless, listeners, if we die, don’t put us down for #DeathByScarab. And when someone else dies, don’t mummify them; raid their pockets for liquor!

It turns out, the writers of The Mummy selected from a buffet of plots from both history and the Bible. That being said, if you don’t want to raise a cursed mummy from the dead, DON’T READ OUT LOUD (and don’t bite any apples). Women have only been allowed to read for so long; let’s not ruin that.

On a separate note, did anyone ever notice that Beni is a soulless, multi-lingual HUSTLER? Because we sure did. In fact, we’re pretty sure that Beni and O’Connell might be the original frenemies. They’re essentially the OG Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Especially since Brendan Fraser’s new duffel bag line of weapons drops this summer.

But enough about women who contribute nothing to society. As much as Katie and Darth hate that one of their favorite movie heroines got Myth Busted, we’ll love Evie till the very end and beyond. After all, “Death … is only the beginning.”  

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.