Podcast 0107- SpongeBob Squarepants

SpongeBob Squarepants: ARE YA READY, KIDS?!

Welcome to the episode where Jason phones it in until we find out what he specifically hates about SpongeBob, which is EVERYTHING! Seriously, listeners; Jason thinks that SpongeBob killed Laura Palmer. Can someone get Kyle MacLachlan on the phone?

Darth honestly does her best to keep Jason on topic in this episode, but his dementia only allows him to concentrate on any given topic for so long. Either way, please try to enjoy this episode involving our second lauded guest, Marie! 

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Listeners, this episode went so far off the rails in every given direction that it’s honestly difficult to summarize it in words. Suffice it to say that we cannot decide which Nickelodeon couple was more homoerotic: Rocko + Heffer or SpongeBob + Patrick. That being said, if you haven’t yet, now is the time to vote for the Kids’ Choice Awards. It’s like the Oscars, but with slime, so get on it.

This episode was so scattered, in fact, that we’ll simply gather some takeaways for you:

  1. We’re PRETTY sure that Dane Cook is still alive.
  2. If you want to know EXACTLY where to find Bikini Bottom, just ask Jason or Marie.
  3. Snails are the new cats.
  4. Be glad that you didn’t have to wake up to SpongeBob’s neurotic laugh every single morning during college.

We’ll leave you with this final bit of wisdom … Have you ever seen Marky Mark and Mark Wahlberg in the same room? Of course you have, because they’re THE SAME PERSON.

Also, forget you, Lichtenstein.

Hindsight OUT.

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.