Podcast 0104 – Antz

Welcome to the new world order: Antz

Bugs. Communism. Woody Allen. Does it get better than Antz? Welcome back down this rabbit hole, or rather, ant hill, of a podcast.

In this particular movie, Jason and I (@Darth_Jader_) discover that Sylvester Stallone is the Juggernaut of ants, and men only affect social change so they can win the girl.

On that note, the PG-13 rating along with seriously highbrow humor in this film do their part to protect kids from being exposed to Woody Allen’s neuroses. Amongst other things.

Continuing down that awkward train of thought amongst a myriad of mixed messages, ants can reproduce asexually, but are big fans of drinking beer out of anuses. Lesson learned: Don’t get drunk the ass beer, no matter how thirsty the pretzels might make you.

Jason and I discovered a few other things along the way:

  1. Ants have no idea who Abraham Lincoln is because they’re communists.
  2. Utopia is ultimately a garbage can of a myth.
  3. Don’t drink the communist Kool-Aid
  4. Don’t get involved in a land war with termites (in Asia or otherwise).
  5. Bees will help you, but only if you’re pitiful Euro Trash.

The remaining question is: Who makes a more confusing movie hero? Woody Allen? Christopher Walken? It’s difficult to tell.

Our final piece of wisdom is this: Tombstones are nothing if not a ripe opportunity for supremely inappropriate humor. Danny Glover, please listen to our podcast. #TombstonePetition

Our second final piece of wisdom is this: Don’t forget to yell at strangers about your erotic fantasies.

A final thank you to Variant Brewing. Thank you for keeping us happy during recordings.

Darth Jader
Darth Jader is a Pirate Queen. She is the co-hostess of the “Hindsight is Horrifying” podcast. She is also “funny, insightful, and sarcastic,” according to her boyfriend, who is currently under duress. You can take the Oxford Comma from her when you pry it from her cold, dead, and lifeless hands. She also speaks Spanish, unlike Ron Burgundy.